Since I was expelled in my freshman, supposed to be senior year, this is one horrific experience I shall never have an invitation to attend. But my last year in school was one where I came into my own where musical tastes were concerned but it was also a year where some absolutely hideous music came out and I was under constant aural assault from friends, family and even people driving down the street. So I thought that this week’s Top 5 should go a little different and we’d talk about what we could do with never hearing again and in the case of AIV and myself subject you the things we don’t want to hear. So your topic is: The Top 5 songs you don’t want to hear at your high school reunion. For the record my 20 year reunion (do they have those or is it at 25 years?) would be this year had I graduated and it still wasn’t hard to pick out songs from that year that I wouldn’t want played at my reunion. Twenty years after escaping the hallowed halls of Sharpstown High School and I can still remember people “bumping” some of these tracks on those huge jukeboxes while me and my friends hunkered down at the Stop N Go smoking and listening to Dead Horse on Stephanie’s boyfriends car stereo….
AUTOPSY IV’S ANSWERS:
Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up: If ever there was an SNL skit come to life it was these douchbags. I’m pretty sure all those jersey shore things crawled out of the ashes of these guys. I do have it on pretty good authority that if you listen to this track more than once you’ll test positive for syphillis.
Slaughter – Fly To The Angels: Every dude I knew hated this track. Every chick I knew loved it. “It’s so sweet, he wrote it for his dead wife.” I suspect that was just an urban legend but dead wife or no dead wife, this song promotes labia growth.
Mr. Big – To Be With You: Even the chicks I knew knew this song was pussified but it was a massive hit so someone somewhere was getting laid to it. I bet they all lived in New Jersey.
Extreme – More Than Words: Are you seeing a pattern here? Really, I could say that I hope I never have to hear another Extreme song at all for the rest of my life but I chose this one in particular because for a single summer every jerkoff who could make a G chord was playing this song at the house party in hopes it would lead to a boob grab later. In a perfect world Nuno Bettencourt looks like Carl Brutananadilewski from Aqua Teen Hunger Force now a days.
Vanilla Ice – Rollin’ In My 5.0: Romeo took Ice Ice Baby and the whole nostalgia argument could for Ice Ice Baby (not saying that I’d make it, just saying it’s plausible). Such is not the case for this steaming pile of shit. To add to the craptasticness of this track, it seems like everybody who drove a Mustang 5.0 in my highschool parking lot was a size 9 tool.
romeosidvicious
I can’t remember what the name of our senior song was in high school, I just know I hated it. Had something to do with roses or something, I don’t remember. I prey they don’t play that awful song (that’s assuming I even bother to attend a high school reunion).
Outside of that, I really don’t care what they play. I wouldn’t be there for the music anyway bwahaha
My 10 year reunion is this summer but I’m refusing to pay $80 for the hubby and I to drink crappy beer in an upscale sportsbar.
And for the record, this is way too easy.
Oops I Did It Again – Britney Spears
This bitch ruined my name, hence why most people only know me as Brit.
Bye Bye Bye – Nsync
I actually knew high schoolers who drooled over Nsync and the Backstreet Boys. Thank God I had better taste than that!
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) – Green Day
This was our graduating class song. Talk about overkill. I think we were the first class not to pick a Beatles song.
No Scrubs – TLC
I’m embarrassed to say we played this song every time we were in my friend’s car cruising the strip.
I Don’t Want To Wait – Paula Cole
I didn’t even watch Dawson’s Creek but am damn tired of this song!
@Brit ohhhhh those are all goooooood ones! In high school I finished a semester early so I worked during the days at Discovery Zone and went to KSU at night… like 348795891471823 times a day they would play the Oops I Did It Again video.. it drove me nuts! As well as it didnt really make any sense why they showed this on repeat at Discovery Zone.. I mean during the day it was like all toddlers that came in there.
aww crap not Oops I Did It Again it was Baby One More Time!
Hmmmmmm…. there is some terrible early 90′s fodder I could slap up here but based on my 1996 year of graduation:
Los Del Rio – Macarena (which unfortunately seems to be in most wedding DJ sets I hear)
Quad City DJ’s – Cmon Ride The Train (woo woo)
Joan Osborne – One Of Us
Coolio – Gangsta’s Paradise
I don’t think any explanation is necessary for any of these songs so Im just gonna list them:
Mambo No. 5 – Lou Bega
Wannabe – Spice Girls
Man I Feel Like A Woman – Shania Twain
Thong Song – Sisqo
MMMBop – Hanson
I tried to avoid the radio as much as possible so to do this list, I had to look up Billboard’s Top 100 from 1998.
1. “Tubthumping” – Chumbawamba
Although I did think the girl who sang, “pissing the night away” was pretty cute.
2. “Getting Jiggy with It” – Will Smith
For a rapper, Smith is a hell of an actor.
3. “Truly Madly Deeply” – Savage Garden
A song sweet enough to give me cavities and then bite down hard enough on those cavities in a half-hearted attempt to choke on my own teeth so I don’t have to hear it anymore.
4. “Ray of Light” – Madonna
Early Madonna was all right. Late 90s disco Madonna made me want to punch myself in the face. Let’s see if I can keep the violent descriptions going.
5. “Been Around the World” – Puff Daddy & The Family
I like some hip hop and am still mindfucked that so many people liked Puff Daddy. He might be a good producer, but every song I’ve heard of his sounded like a 5 year-old wrote the rhymes and a deaf 5 year-old wrote the melodies. I heard “Warning” by Biggie on the way to work today. That dude was good. Now I’m just rambling. And I forgot to be violent.
Collective Soul – Shine
Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun
Stone Temple Pilots – Vaseline
R Kelly – Bump N Grind
Bryan Adams – Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?
Trying to remember these has reminded me how much bad music was popular when i was in high school. I totally forgot about I Got A Man, Positive K and would be stoked to hear it though.
I finished 6 months early at a community college, so no reunions for me either, but if I had one…
In addition to any of the mid- to late-90′s “hits” mentioned above, I’d like to add (all from my graduating year, i’m pretty certain):
goo goo dolls – iris
cher – believe
sixpence none the richer – kiss me
lfo – summer girls
sugar ray – someday
Good call with Collective Soul. You really could say Collective Soul – “any.”
Good call on anything Sugar Ray Molly! I almost put LFO but that song’s so bad it always makes me laugh. I think I’ll go listen to it now!
“Angel” Aerosmith
“Pour Some Sugar On Me,” Def Leppard
“Never Gonna Give You Up” Rick Astley
“Wishing Well” Terence Trent D’Arby
“Wait” White Lion
Meh.
poison – unskinny bop
Dude, “Unskinny Bop”? Really?
What no Warrant – Cherry Pie?
EMF, Unbelievable
Jesus Jones, Right Here Right Now
Yuk
Oh wow, I don’t even know where to begin.
To make it easier on myself, I’m just going to look up what came out during my senior year and pick 5 of those.
1. Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun (bad enough say again)
2. Ace of Base – All That She Wants
3. Cheryl Crow – All I Wanna Do
4. Counting Crows – Mr. Jones
5. Melissa Etheridge – Come To My Window
Didn’t realize that 9B readers were so young! I’m in RSV’s age demographic.
1. Vogue – Madonna
2. Unskinny Bob – Poison
3. anything by New Kids on the Block
Gawd I’m getting nauseous just thinking about pop music from the early 90s.
4. Anything by Milli Vanilli
5. Humpty Dance – Digital Underground
I’m a little older than the rest of you kids
. The 70s were both a great era of new musical exploration and a horrible pox on music. Music during my senior year (1978) of high school was particularly dark. Considering it was a small town with a top 40 AM station, I’m surprised I survived. I’ll be happy if I never hear the following again:
1) Shadow Dancing – Andy Gibb
2) You Light Up My Life – Debby Boone
3) How Deep Is Your Love – The Bee Gees
4) Hopelessly Devoted To You – Olivia Newton John
5) Copacabana – Barry Manilow
Wow… just typing this up leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I went to punk rock high school USA and they don’t do class reunions or any of that stuff, but to play along I could see a DJ looking at a class that graduated in the spring of 1991 and playing:
1) (Everything I Do) I Do It for You, Bryan Adams
2) More Than Words, Extreme
3) Love of a Lifetime, Firehouse
4) After the Rain, Nelson
5) Rico Suave, Gerardo
Only to get blank stares as the schools queenbee runs up to ask if he has anything pre 1990 Metallica or Red Hot Chilli Peppers or maybe a little 70s punk or hard rock?
Wow, this one’s hard…not that I can’t think of anything, there’s just too much to list and I don’t know what to pick :s But I agree with a lot of the stuff listed. Oh but I have to add Destiny’s Child…anything by them.
I’m even older than Boogiestudio2 (class of 1969…why am I here? Because I love ALL music) but as a former club abd wedding and private party DJ I’ve had to deal with request for ALL of these (and actually had most of them at one time in my ‘working’ collection purely BECAUSE I had to give the people what they wanted occasionally) which is why I generally refused all requests (or purposefully left my 45s/LPs and 12″ singles UNorganized to increase serendipity and prevent folks from skimming my collection and finding their favorites) and sold myself as the Dj who gave you what you didn’t know you wanted.
Songs I don’t dare if I ever hear again? Kool & Gang ‘Celebrate’, Bill Haley ‘Rock Around the Clock’, Bill Ray Cyrus ‘Achy Breaky Heart’(exception: the version that adds the Chipmunks),any Journey, REO, Styx (on tour this summer at a shed near you), oh God there’s so much from the 50s to 80s that’s awful and makes me believe that most people’s taste is in their mouth and they need to floss more often.
forgot how terrible this song and band name were
sixpence none the richer – kiss me
I’d be happy to hear Unskinny Bop
also I wouldn’t change the channel if Terrence Trent Darby came on
Top 5??? Fuck. Ass. Son.
Look at the Top 15 songs from 1984 and you could pick almost all of them…although I will admit that I still like Prince (in small doses) and Roth era Van Halen.
1. When Doves Cry, Prince
2. What’s Love Got to Do With It, Tina Turner
3. Say Say Say, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
4. Footloose, Kenny Loggins
5. Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now), Phil Collins
6. Jump, Van Halen
7. Hello, Lionel Richie
8. Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes
9. Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr.
10. Karma Chameleon, Culture Club
11. Missing You, John Waite
12. All Night Long (All Night), Lionel Richie
13. Let’s Hear It for the Boy, Deniece Williams
14. Dancing In the Dark, Bruce Springsteen
15. Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper
I firmly believe that Facebook will make high school class reunions obsolete. And since I refuse to have a Facebook account, I will never have to deal with the people I went to school with and could care less about ever again.
I graduated in 1993. I can remember listening to both “Cherry Pie” and “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” And it seemed like Tom Cochrane’s “Life is a Highway” was played constantly my senior year.
Reminds me of when Brenda and Dylan made out and Color Me Bad came to the Peach Pit…
made me spit up my drink, funny…
YUP. ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.