This one was a little harder than I thought to put together but I think it’s a good topic. We have all lost people in our lives. Whether they are in a better place, moved away, grown apart, or disappeared we have lost someone. I want to know the Top 5 songs that remind you of people you have lost. I have lost more than a few so picking a Top 5 was not an easy task. I am not going to bother with the widget this time because I want a little room to type…

Lucero – Chain Link FenceYou see there was this girl. I was 18 and she was 16. Not much of an age difference to be sure but her parents didn’t approve at all. It wasn’t a Romeo and Juliet thing because they were pretty reasonable if you know the whole story. We were just going to wait and if we did they’d support us. I won’t bother with the details here but the authorities found her between here and there. She didn’t even tell me she was running away. There are still a lot of songs that remind me of her but lately it’s been this one. Even though it’s not even close to being about the same thing. Even my wife gets that I still miss Dawn to this day.

Blood For Blood – Love SongBoots and bracers made him a trad kid. Diabetes made him careful. My best friend watched his mother walk out his apartment less than half hour before finding him too far gone from an insulin mis-dose. That still haunts me. He would have loved this song. Trey you are still remembered and still missed.

The Misfits – Where Eagles DareI honestly don’t know what happened to Seamus but I do know my wife would cringe about naming our son the same name if she had known the bastard. I kid of course. Seamus was a good guy. He was brash, abrasive, loud, and didn’t give a damn what the world thought of him. He’d also drop whatever he was doing to help someone out. Hell he didn’t even have to know them to help out. I can imagine the boy scared a lot of little old ladies with broken down cars. He’s probably still around somewhere. I need to look him up and find out.

Mudhoney – AcetoneShe was my practice dummy. You see Jen and I didn’t “like” each other that way but we got along so well we decided to “practice” being romantic with each other so we could be better at it when we found someone. It’s about the dumbest thing I can think of but damn we thought it was cool. We grew apart after many years and I didn’t even know she passed until a friend found her obituary, almost two years old at the time, while doing research for something unrelated. I couldn’t find her mom or any more information than what little was mentioned there. I still remember the fun we had and I still remember sitting outside of that shithole coffee shop throwing bottles at the passing buses. And I still think of Jen whenever this one happens to pop up.

Dead Can Dance – The Carnival Is OverThis one is for my grandmother. She is no longer with us and to this day I carry a lot of guilt over living less than half an hour away and her only seeing my six month old baby one time before she passed. She hated most of my music but this one she liked. I think the haunting feel this song has almost perfectly reflects the baggage I carry.

Well that’s little more raw than I intended. I almost don’t want to post it but I will. I think it’ll be cathartic.


  1. Way Out West – Don’t Forget Me

    while searching for the link I just saw that it was used in Greys Anatomy… ugh.

  2. i am not to good at these. I tend to not carry a lot of emotional connection with people as they fade from my life. Not really sure why that is….sort of an, “out of sight out of mind” type things. I hope I did it right…

    Tesla – ParadiseHigh school. Nicole. A little italian girl from New York. My have been the first time I had my heart broken. Mos. def. the first time I remember. When we were entertaining the notion of “keep in touch” after that summer I listened to this track more than I should have.

    My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult – Mood No. 6Still in high school. Maura. She was my best friend and we were close for years after highschool but life eventually took over and contact faded. Anyhow, she introduced me to a lot of really good music and this particular song always reminds me of her.

    Concrete Blonde – God Is A BulletThis song reminds me of a dude I delivered pizzas with for a few years when I was a kid. He introduced me to a lot of good music.

    Janes Addiction – Ocean SizeThis one reminds me of all the guys I skated with as a kid. I miss them sometimes or maybe I miss the time. Either way, this entire album reminds me of them.

  3. Drive-By Truckers – Plastic Flowers On The Highway
    During my freshman year of high school there was a wreck that triggered stricter teen driving laws in Georgia. A car of 6 girls crashed, killing a friend of mine (and two others) and causing severe brain damage in one of my oldest friends. A couple days later another girl I had grown up with was killed by stepping in front of a bus on a college campus. A couple days after that a friend’s brother killed himself drunk driving right outside my neighborhood. Pretty traumatic for a 14 year old.

    Jason Isbell – Chicago Promenade
    Having a potentially fatal disease means you get close with a lot of people with your disease, many of which who will end up dying. I was friend’s with a kid who passed while waiting on a second lung transplant after his body rejected the first one. He was one of the most optimistic and resilient people I’ve ever met and I think he stole a bit of all of his friends when he passed just a few months before his 21st birthday.

    There’s about a million songs that remind me of varying people at varying times, Lucero’s Darby’s Song, Tim Barry’s 222, etc.

  4. My dad died in January, not February, but “February Day” by Desert Radio still makes me think of his funeral, because of these lines:
    They laid you in the frozen ground,
    a soul set free, a body bound.
    I’m going to live, I’m going to die,
    but not tonight.
    And all you said along the way,
    Came back this February Day.

    That winter was the coldest winter of my life.

    (If the comments here accept HTML, here’s a link to download mp3 of this song. But do it soon – is going away July 15.)

  5. I am, unfortunately, quite the opposite of AIV: I do tend to connect songs/bands/albums with certain people so much that it’s hard for me to listen to some of them once a relation- or friendship turned sour. It’s too bad and I don’t like it, but I can’t help it.
    Funnily enough, I even connect some records with my state of being, eg I couldn’t listen to the ANTIFOLK VOL.1 compilation for a long time, because I got so damn sick one night I listened to it to “fall asleep” (meant in a good way).

  6. Chicago Promenade – Jason Isbell
    “I lost a friend it felt like five, a man who wouldn’t compromise.”
    This song reminds me sooooooo much of my grandfather. He was a stubborn old man who didn’t like being told what to do. He was a World War II veteran but he never talked about it, instead he preferred to focus on all the good things around him. He would take my brothers and I to the flea market all the time, among other things. I wish he could have lived long enough to see us graduate college. He would have been so proud.

    Days of Graduation – Drive-By Truckers
    This is sorta creepy for me, but something like this happened to someone I knew in high school. He was driving a girl home and he took a corner too fast, flew off the road and slammed into a tree. The girl died almost on impact, but my friend walked away without a scratch. I went and visited him the day after the accident and he was so shook up. His family took him out of school a few days later and I never saw him again. Everyone at the school blamed him for the girl’s death, but they never bothered to think about how he felt given the circumstances. I know the song is a bit different, but I always picture that when I hear it.

    I Shall Return – Gov’t Mule
    I’m lucky in the sense that I haven’t had to deal with death a lot in my personal life. A few family members have died, but I can only think of one friend that has passed in my lifetime. In any case, this song brings back memories of all of them. I listen to it when I’m thinking about them, it almost always cheers me up (though it will bring me to tears at the same time).

    There are a lot more songs that make me think of my grandfather, but there are too many to list. That man had (and still does have) a profound affect on my life. So yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

  7. ‘Wild Horses’ by the Rolling Stones-When Jim Dickinson died, I couldn’t listen to this song for the next 3 months. Any other song and I was fine, but hearing this always brought tears to my eyes. I have no idea why, maybe because it’s his big claim to fame in the mainstream. Maybe it’s because you don’t hear the piano in that song(he played piano on it cause Ian Stewart doesn’t play minor chords)unless you’ve got a good ear for singling out instruments in songs. No matter the reason, it was still painful for me to hear this song.

    ‘Truck Drivin Man’-I have no idea who did the original, but Jim did a damn fine job of it. It’s my song that I always relate to my dad, he’s a truck driver and I’m damn proud of it.

    ‘Positively 4th Street’ by Bobby D-To be honest, I have really high expectations for the people in my life and this is why I don’t have that many friends. I don’t like having these high expectations and I know it’s totally unfair, so I don’t make too many friends. Along the way, I’ve invested in a few people who turned out to be exactly this song. Just shit friends who held their heads just a little too high. My expectations for others reflect the same expectations that I have for myself as a friend to others.

    ‘God Only Knows’ by the Beach Boys-When I lived with my sister and her son, the sweetest boy in existence, I sang this song to him every night when I put him to bed. It was the best part of the day because it was just me and him sharing a song that I grew up loving. I’ve shared so much good music with that little boy in the 6 years that he’s been gracing us with his awesomeness.

  8. Thanks for sharing all the great stories. Cowbelle’s piece is worth checking out. I wish I had time to explain my reasons but here are a few quick hits.

    Sun or Snow by Austin Lucas
    222 by Tim Berry
    Our Paths Will Cross by William Elliot Whitmore
    Average Man by The Dry County Crooks
    The War by Lucero.

  9. thanks for this RSV.

    Thicker Than Water (H2O) – My friend Dave, who was 20 years old and perfectly healthy, got meningitis and died within 24 hours. It was first time I dealt with an unexpected loss and it really shattered that youthful sense of invincibility.

    Bro Hymn (Pennywise) – I had moved away about 2 years before my best took his life, and I have to admit it wasn’t a shock when a friend called and told me what happened. Guaps had always battled depression and drugs. There’s a serious void when you lose friends from your youth. You just don’t make the same friend connections in adulthood that you make in your teens. At least I haven’t anyway.

    Capsized (Samiam) / Violins (Lagwagon) – First love lost. I was clueless as to how to act in a relationship. When she told me she wanted to see other people it felt like a punch in the gut. At least you learn from those experiences.

    The War (Lucero) – Quite simply reminds me of my grandfather.

    I guess the fact that 4 of the 5 are punk songs means I haven’t lost contact with as many folks in the past 5-6 years as my musical tastes have changed.

    Again, thanks for this Top 5. It’s always nice to have a reason to reminisce.

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