I’m gonna be honest with you guys. I was prepared to just abandon the Rock of Love recaps altogether, but then I got an email from a reader this week who said he really enjoys them. That filled my tank up a little, but I’m just not sure how far it’ll get me.
Why, you ask. Why would I abandon the only 9b regular piece that I’ve kept up with?
Basically because this season has been a freaking bore. Where’s the drama? Daisy and KJ banging of Brett and a disfigured Frenchy’s insistence on nudity. That’s been it, and I’m sorry, but in the age of tubgirl and 2girls1cup, groupie sex and an ugly girl with circus titties and an accent just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Last season had strong characters like Lacey, Heather and Jes. What do we have this season? A married bipolar playmate in KJ, Megan who is, quite possibly, the least intelligent/most superficial person I have ever witnessed, and, like, we totally got Daisy, OMGosh. In other words…this season has got crap. I want some drama, but I am afraid that outside of Destiny grudge-fisting KJ in the next few episodes, nothing will save this season.
Is anyone else as disappointed with this season as I am?
With that said, here’s the recap:
mummies..umm… former strippers…err…older U.S.O. performers (since 1956) meet the girls and we learn that the challenge will be doing a USO-ish performance for some Vets down at the local V.F.W….or something. Since these girls’ only real talents involve poles, oral play and keeping plastic surgeons in Ferarris, the acts suck as much as you would imagine. The highlight of the show is when Inna and Destiney acknowledge they are a scorpion and bust out with a totally tasteless stripper act..complete with stripper style ass slapping, and the only surprising thing about that was that they were the only one’s to do it. The only other surprise in this episode was that Kristy Joe didn’t cry, with the only whining of note in this episode being Daisy’s pitiful rendition of the National Anthem. Anyone who hadn’t made it over to her myspace music site to check out her ‘talent’ yet got to see how shitty a singer she is. Seriously, who do think has less musical talent….Lacey or Daisy? Head over and check them both out. I’ll wait right here.
In an effort to create some drama, Bret sat the girls down for dinner and asked them who they thought was there for the wrong reasons. Fantastic, this should really heat things up, right? Wrong. Outside of some KJ versus Not as Hot KJ (Destiny) screaming, this resulted in nothing…and we, the viewers, suffered again.
There were dates. Yep, they were boring. At the end, Inna got eliminated.
Bret, ROL Girls, VH1: Step it the fuck up.