Rock of Love: Meet the Pros Edition

Another week and another chapter in the ongoing saga that is [boom voice]ROCK OF LOVE[/boom voice]. This week Brett brought in 3 of his favorite groupies to grill the five wannabeagroupies. As a note to where Poison and Brett really stand these days none of the “superfans” were around for the 80’s heydays. But then, could you imagine how busted the groupies from back in the day probably are these days:

yeah. it’s best to stick with the new-era groupies.

So what we got was the three supergroupies interviewing the the ROL house in an interrogation type setting. I wish I could tell you this made for great TV but all in all it didn’t. Moneyshot’s hair tries to go up in flames…Sam refuses to fake an orgasm and then runs off to cry….which is about as surprising as water running down hill. Next Jes comes in and admits she doesn’t know shit about Poison, has pumped up lips and that her tits are real….then it happens, one of the supergroupies, Ky, gets caught in the Jes-hottie vortex suddenly finds herself making out with Jes….okay, so there was a moment of good TV in this segment. Ky tells us the Jes is a bit of a lip biter and every viewing male goes to spend some alone time in his bedroom with a tube sock. Heather is next and after a rocky start they bond over their collective trashiness. Lastly is Lacey and the supergroupies see right through her….to the point of openly mocking her. Yawn.

After the interrogation session the supergroupies head out to mingle with the house and make nice. Lacey tries to suck up and get this, Sam runs off to cry….and pack….again. Brett pulls the supergroupies aside to get their angle on the house to which we learn: Sam doesn’t have the mental facilities to reach supergroupie status, Brandi is a fake, Jes is awesome, Lacey is the polar opposite and Heather is a superwhore trapped in a superwhore’s body….in other words, she is perfect for Brett.

Heather wins and as a result she gets the solo date. While Brett and Heather are out, the supergroupies and the rest of the girls hangout….they drink, talk shit about Lacey and console Sam while she cries. Go figure. On the solo date Heather does what every self-respecting girl from the trailer park does on a first date…..she gets Brett’s name tatted on her neck. I’ll assume that A2M followed afterwards off camera.

That’s it. Sam gets the boot and plays some serious tonsil hockey on the way out the door. Too little, too late.

Next week it looks like there will be a lot of vomit. To say I am not already totally looking forward to it would be a complete lie.

This weeks songs:

I dedicate this to Brandi M and her head: The Cult – Fire Woman
This song goes out to Lacey: The Cult – The Witch
Since we had the supergroupies on this week I thought I’d drop a few groupie songs: Great White – Once Bitten Twice Shy, 213 – Groupie Love, Guns and Roses – It’s So Easy, Lynyrd Skynyrd – What’s Your Name, Bobbie Nunn – She’s Just a Groupie

UPDATE!!!!!: I just stumbled across the greatest piece of video ever. Remember last week I mentioned Lacey was in a band….a shitty band. Well, I was sort of inaccurate. She was in that band. Seems she quit Nocturne to go out to LA and attempt a solo career! Well, a video for one of her new songs has surfaced. I could sit here and tell you how terrible it is but really, this one is required viewing….I assure you….hit play…hilarity will ensue:

8 thoughts on “Rock of Love: Meet the Pros Edition”

  1. That was the most horrifically wonderful thing I have seen next to Britney’s VMA mess….YouTube, will you accept this pass and continue to stay in my house and rock my world?

  2. Lacey is a freaking idiot and she made a fool of herself in this video. Notice how most of the people who helped with her video(in the credits) were related to her? Hmmmmm coincidence? I think not. Her music is so bad and horrific that she could not get anybody else to help her make the video or support her music, except her family HAHA HOW LAME!!!!! I can’t stand her and her awful voice and am so glad Bret didn’t choose her on Rock of Love!

    As for the final 2, I hope Heather wins because Jes doesn’t really love him she just wants the publicity and doesn’t deserve him! SHE’S A FAKE!!!!!!!!!! Heather really loves him and wants to be with him for the rest of her life! HEATHER’S THE REAL DEAL!!!!!!!!! Go Heather! You have my vote!

    P.S. There are TONS of rumors circulating as to who won, but the finale isn’t even till tomorrow night! Most of them say Jes one, and a few say Heather. I don’t believe them because its the freacking internet were talking about people and there is so much crap on the internet that is wrong! I choose to wait until tomorfrow night to see who won. HEATHER, YOUR REAL AND YOU LOVE HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART FOR REAL AND YOU DESERVE HIM!!!!! I HOPE YOU WIN HIM OVER AND GET TO ROCK HIS WORLD AND HIM YOURS FOR THE REST OF BOTH OF YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. I couldn’t understand some parts of this article of Love: Meet the Pros Edition at ninebullets.net, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

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