ROCK OF LOVE 3: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? EDITION

So. I know I had started recapping the Rock of Love Charm School and abruptly quit. Truth is, it was so dreadfully dull I just stopped watching it. Seems the only interesting thing that happened was at the reunion when Sharon kicked Megan’s ass. But you didn’t think a shitty Charm School season was gonna put the kibosh on my ROL recaps did you?

No way.
No way in hell.

Seems Dodge over on My Old Kentucky Blog has decided to recap the show as well and at first I was a little bummed, but then I decided I wasn’t gonna worry about it…I mean, I’ve been doing this since Season 1, Episode 1 so I welcome his voice to the cesspool that is Rock of Love. I’d hope he’ll add an air of legitimacy to ROL, but you know what they say about wrestling with pigs don’t you…you end up muddy and the pig just has a good time.

You can tell VH1 has finally realized what they had with ROL and have let the show become the caricature it’s always been trying to be. Take a gaggle of women who find self-worth in their Jerry Springerness, put them in the exceptionally close quarters of a tour bus, add all the free liquor you can drink and ROLL FILM!

Results are the obvious. Some Brazilian whore dumps a glass of something on some run of the mill whore’s head, sluts crying like the last dick in the dickhouse just went limp and the obligatory skank puking up the morning man chowder.

I mean, seriously, these girls are gonna be must see TV. A combined IQ lower than the combined cc’s of silicone in their circus tittes. Some of these skanks have duck lips that make Daisy’s look downright waspy. There are at least 3 girls that you’d happily choose Angelique over, and most of them you’d take your Mom to meet Heather on the pole before taking home.  And for now, we’ll stop short of mentioning the horrific display’s of hair style and color….for now.

It’s gonna be a great season.

Episode 1 is the typical “meet the whores” gimmick and to be honest, I’m no more able to remember a single name than I am able to remember the stage name of the stripper I got a lap dance from last week. We met the girls, the girls spent the better part of an hour confirming they have the skankiness required to be on ROL and then 5 were sent home…one so drunk she was swaying and stumbling on the line-up.

ROL is back bitches! Watch with me and look for regular updates on Fridays. Lemme know your thoughts.

Songs inspired by this weeks episode:

Poison – Nothing But A Good Time
Poison – Love on the Rocks
Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch
Jane’s Addiction – Whores

5 thoughts on “ROCK OF LOVE 3: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? EDITION”

  1. Brett looks like he has had more plastic surgery than the women. Something is wrong with his face.

  2. I, for one, hope Brett never finds happiness and that ROL goes on forever. Also – very sad that Poor Man’s Daisy is already gone. Sweet christ on a cross, I love this show.

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