Brett’s House of Harlots has been restocked with 20 new aspiring porn queens….twice the silicon, twice the collagen and one busted ass Frenchy known as Angelique (of course). Oh yes reader, it’s y2k+8 and we are getting treated with a brand new season of Rock of Love.
This season season started out much like the last one. 15 girls get let in, 5 get held back. However, this year there was a slight curve ball. Instead of being denied access to the house, these 5 chicks were given VIP (“Very Important Pussy”, as one of them so eloquently put it) status. Being VIP got the girls their very own special room, a ton of free clothing and 15 immediate enemies in the other housecats. I’d imagine this is how the backstage area of a strip club reacts when a new feature dancer comes in.
Now that the whole VIP thing had settled in, the cameras start to introduce us to the “women”. We got Daisy (tranny much?) and the busted ass Frenchy I mentioned earlier, Angelique. She runs over to the stripper pole and proceeds to…..hell, I dunno what you’d call it…she was trying to do a pole dance, but it ended up looking more like something you would have seen in Napoleon Dynamite.
Next it was off to the customary episode one photo shoot. Angelique flopped her FF bolt-on’s out and the tides altered. Then we learn this freakshow has had two boob jobs, a nose job, her lips inflated and her teeth done, and from the looks of things she got it all on a $9.99 Value Menu by some hack. Seriously folks, this woman is a damned disaster…but she is a character, and in the infancy of any reality show you need a character until people can remember the other girls names. Angelique the circus freak, Daisy the post-op, Peyton the Season 2 Rodeo, Catherine the sausage bangs cougar and Kristy Joe the winner…..errr…I mean the former Playmate.
The only other things of any interest this time around included the girl that was supposed to be the Season 2 Jes heading off on some “everything I need to know I learned on myspace” speech (our future is doomed people). Some other girl also got so unbelievably drunk she passed out and slept through elimination…thus sealing her fate as one of the episode 1 fallen, which could have been the worse story of the night, had it not been for VIP turned myspace commercial Erin getting blasted at the first elimination.
So here we are, a new season and from the previews there will be fights, vomit and mudball. Life is good. Lacey, Heather and Rodeo make appearances this season (anyone think Heather will get to stay at the house ala New York in Flavor of Love Season 2?) and more amateur porn videos are certain to surface. See y’all next week.
Let’s flashback to last season for a moment. Remember Jes, the little hottie who won and promptly dumped Brett at the reunion show? Well, from the looks of things she’s been living la vida loca since then. Homegirl hosted some shit out in Nevada recently and showed up looking…I dunno…not so hot I guess. Did she get her nose done?: Pic1, Pic2