Well, it turns out that there wasn’t an episode the week I was gone so there was no catch-up to play. I got up Sunday morning and caught the 11am airing of the new episode live and I’m thinking that was an error. Either being 100% sober made this a pretty dull episode or it just was. Dull when compared to the ROL standards already set that is. Outside of Kristy Joe crying and crying and crying and crying and all-in-all doing a damned near spot-on impression of last years Sam all the way down to the mistrust issues despite being on a reality show full of whores and god-diggers and excess baggage and Daisy cranking down Bret (you think they actually had sex? I’m assuming he got a BJ at the very least…which bears the question are fake DSL’s inferior to real DSL’s? Do they get hard like bolt-on boobs) there was supertranny Aubry falling on her own sword…but that is a whole other story.
Aubry. Was that girl unfortunate or what? Once Angelique was gone and I was able to notice gross in the other girls I really paid attention this shemale-patlike thing. I am 100% confident that it was a man, man…
This episode opened up immediately after last episode’s elimination with Brett and the Harlots getting lubed up (drinking). Brett pulls the eject button and starts kissing the girls goodnight. Aubry gets upset cause Brett walks around him to start his goodnight kissing (Good man Brett, Good man). On the way to his bedroom Brett is stopped by Daisy (this bitch is growing on me, and after this episode I’m guessing she’s growing on Brett as way, but in a terrible STD sort of way) who wishes to say goodnight in a more “private fashion”. Obviously, this rubs the other vajayjays the wrong way. Especially Aubry and Kristie Joe resulting in them having Kristy Joe / transvestite sex. Well, no…thankfully. Instead they sit in the jacuzzi and bitch and wine while Daisy puts in the kind of work that takes you to the finals baby. Morning comes and Daisy has not returned… On the way to their challenge Daisy is confronted about her night with the Brettster…She calls her accusers bitches and refuses to offer any answers. Well played Daisy, well played.
The challenge is to put a few basic parts onto an essentially pre-assembled motorcycle. Winning team gets a date with that teams lead mechanic getting a solo date and the added caveat that the losing teams lead mech has to clean Bretts bike with a toothbrush. Teams struggle and the team which consisted of Inna, Ambre, Aubry, Megan and Daisy wins. Peyton, being the losing teams lead, has to clean Brett’s bike…but Brett decides that since Destiny was useless she should help Peyton and don a bikini in the process since barely clothed boobs are better than greasy hands every day.
Inna gets the private date which consisted of nothing worth writing about. Ambre, Aubry, Megan and Daisy get the collective date which consists of them getting dressed up and doing a 50’s pin-up style photo shoot. When learning of this Megan pines, “I mean, I’m 23, I don’t wanna dress like 50’s.” Proving once and for all her act on Beauty and the Geek was legit and this bitch it all tits and no brains. That said, she was looking hot for her session…Again, scantily clad tits can overcome a lot of things….including a complete lack of brains. Ambre was also looking rather cute in a total “not only am I cute but I probably won’t fuck your best friend the first time you go on a business trip” kind of way….but her presence on this very show proves that not only would she do it, she’d drain your checking account before hand. Daisy looked, well, like Daisy…I just don’t find Daisy that cute…I can not get past those over-inflated lips…Ms. Jolie’s lips look hot cause they are that big naturally…enhanced lips look freaky and prone to leakage to me. Aubry looked especially horrendous…
After the shoot the girls get a dinner with Brett where he dishes the dirt on KJ. Aubry immediately runs off to tell KJ what Brett said. KJ responds in the traditional KJ way…by crying. Allow me to say something here…the more reality tv I watch (and I watch a lot) the more I hate people who cry. I’ve pretty much reached the point that the moment a character cries I hate them. KJ, playmate or not (if anyone has any of her pics please email them to me), I’m tired of her and want her waterworks ass gone. KJ runs off to confront Brett which comes to nothing and we’re off to elimination knowing KJ is taking her wannabeaSam’s ass home.
Elimination comes and it pretty much goes down as you would expect….KJ and Aubry are the last two standing. Brett starts into his spiel and Aubry just leaps out there and sacrifices herself so KJ can stay. she has a whole speech but I know the truth….5 days straight of having your balls tucked is pretty freaking miserable and the idea of a sixth is pretty much unbearable (Don’t ask how I know this…it involved 3 midgets, 8 bottles of 151, a 5 dollar hooker a pound of cocaine and thanks to camcorders guarantees I can never run for public office.). With great fanfare Aubry falls on her own sword, thus sparing the KJ and leaves the house….Only to have Brett show girls he was keeping the chick all along. THAT’S RIGHT AUBRY….THIS AIN’T TILA TEQUILA!….THERE AIN’T NO BI-SEX UP IN DIS BITCH….DUDES GOTTA DIP….you was gone and you did not even know it.