Okay. Since My Name is Earl went into reruns, outside of Man Vs. Wild I have been bored with TV. Meadowlands….already deleted the scheduled recording from the box. Sure, John From Cincinnati is interesting, but so far it is moving at the pace of Carnival and it’s just as vague, and that’s a bad thing. The only bright spots in TV land currently are Top Chef and Flight of the Conchords.

All of the above was true until last Sunday. Yes, all of that was pre-Rock of Love.

What do you do when Flava of Love has run it’s course? You replace the hiphop dude with a hair-metal dude and the ghetto bitches with trailer trash. TV gold. Seriously. I mean, it’s VH1 so it’s trashier than Courtney Love and K-Fed in a keg stand contest, but fuck an A it’s fun, and I may be drunk right now (affirmative) but I think it has inspired a weekly blog entry.

We’ll title this week’s episode “Every Thorn Has It’s Rose” or “All the Thorns it Takes to Get to the Roses“….yeah, that.

This week saw 25 girls come to the rock house with the intent of getting to fuck Brett Michaels. Right off the bat, Big John (Brett’s head of security) whacks the five hardest ridden hags at the door. One of which, Tiffany, will absolutely not take rejection as an answer so she comes beating on the door in the middle of the evening demanding to get back in, even though there’s no bed for her. She’ll sleep on the floor, she’ll sleep in the bathtub, just let her back in. Big John does as good TV would demand. Once in the mix of the house, Tiffany makes the trailer trash proud by getting drunk and making a proper ass of herself. The best part of the entire Tiffany portion of the show is the fact that VH1 proceeded to subtitle her drunk talk in a misheard lyric fashion. IE: when she was saying “Brett would never kick me out.” the subtitles read “Brett would ne’er kick me route”. Watch this skank, it’s comedic gold.

Other notes from this week show: Brandi C. is the trailer park version of New York and happens to be the only one representing my home state of Florida. In the opinion of both the wife and myself, Jes is the hottest and finally, Rodeo and Heather are the 2 wild-cards since they are both a tad older and therefore close to Brett’s age. What will happen? Will the trailer trash inspire the drama of the ghetto bitches of Flava of Love? Who knows. One thing is for sure though, the trailer trash will drink as much booze.

Poison – Every Rose Has Its Thorn (album version)
Poison – Every Rose Has Its Thorn (MTV Unplugged Version)
Joshua Fit For Battle – Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Rex Hobart – Every Rose Has Its Thorn (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED HONKY TONK VERSION!!!)

side note: Both the wife and I noticed Brett only appears on camera with a hat or with a bandanna. We think Mr. Michaels has gone bald and either wears a hat or wig to cover the Kojack.